


Chicken Soup for the Heart

by silverwolf_fox



Category: One Piece
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27920059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverwolf_fox/pseuds/silverwolf_fox
Summary: Baby 5 tries to prove she'd be an excellent wife only to work herself sick. Bedridden, she's forced to face her trauma but finds comfort with her darling and husband-to-be.
Relationships: Baby 5/Sai (One Piece)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	Chicken Soup for the Heart

Strange as it may seem, Baby 5 never gave much thought to what her wedding would be like. Never considered what her dress would look like or what food would be served, because all that mattered to her was that her husband-to-be was absolutely and perfectly satisfied. Even the thought of establishing her own potential desire instead of that imaginary man’s twisted her heart so painfully that she couldn’t breathe.

Even when she didn’t have a fianc é , she hated herself for that brief moment of considering a selfish want. There was, however, one thing she thought would happen after she got engaged. It had never been an issue until now, as the Young Master always killed her fianc és before they had the chance to proceed, but it struck her that there was a step after engagement.

She wouldn’t call it a want.

She didn’t even want to call it an expectation.

It was...an assumption, a belief that after she was proposed to, she and her fianc é would marry and live happily ever after.

So why weren’t they married yet?

After Don Sai, her darling, proclaimed his love for her and expressed his desire for them to marry in the midst of battle, she thought they would return to his home to be wed. She was half right, as they did return to the Kano Country together, but other than when he introduced her upon arrival, there had been no mention of their engagement.

Not that she would complain, of course, never. She knew her darling was very busy and wouldn’t ever dream of interfering or causing a problem. She was given her own room to sleep alone in since, of course, it wouldn’t be proper for them to share until their wedding night. And there had still been no mention of their engagement.

That was okay.

She understood.

He was her darling. He loved her. She knew that. She knew it. But the more time passed that they weren’t married, the more anxious she became. Black tendrils crawled into her mind, convincing her that she wasn’t proving herself, that he was starting to see her uselessness.

Useless.

Helpless.

_ Mama? _

Baby 5 became determined to show her darling that she was useful to him. That she’d make a wonderful wife. That he didn’t need to throw her away. She woke up early each day, rising before the sun in order to prepare him breakfast, and to prove her dedication, she made sure to always be in the kitchen before any of the staff. Once her darling’s food was prepared and delivered and enjoyed, she could eat.

After breakfast, she cleaned. She swept, mopped, and dusted, and if she was lucky, she finished whichever floor she was working on that day before lunch. If she didn’t, then she’d stop in order to cook a hearty meal for her darling, ensuring that it was to his liking, before returning to her cleaning. Once every surface sparkled, she could eat.

After lunch, she sharpened and polished the weaponry. Baby 5 knew how important the Happo Navy was to her darling, and there was no one who knew how to handle weapons better than the Buki Buki no Mi user. Since she often had to finish cleaning after lunch, she usually had a late start with the weaponry, so after pausing to cook and deliver dinner to her darling Sai, she would work into the night to finish. Once each weapon was primed for combat, she could eat.

Though a grueling schedule to keep, many of the staff offered her thanks for her hard work, which made it all worth it until the day she woke up with a cough. Her face was flushed, body shivering despite the warm weather, but she forced herself out of bed and slowly got dressed. Taking slow, unsteady steps, she had to pause to unleash a string of wet coughs several times on her way to the kitchen. By the time she arrived, she was dismayed to see the staff already there preparing the morning meal. Any expressed concern was met with a weak smile that Baby 5 immediately stretched wider in an effort to be more convincing.

She went to one of the counters to help, but her hands were shaking. She gripped the counter and breathed heavily for a moment, distantly hearing the kitchen staff speaking to her, then her vision went dark and her body fell.

When she woke back up, she was in her bed, the covers pulled up to her chin and a wet cloth on her forehead. She took a haggard breath that broke into a cough. There was a dull ache behind her eyes that grew worse by the light of the midday sun shining through the window. When she realized that it was the middle of the day, Baby 5 shot up, a hand flying to her head at the severe pounding that doing so resulted in. Fighting through the pain, she was tossing the covers off her when the door opened. One of the maids walked in and gasped when they saw her getting up.

"Miss, no! You have to stay in bed!" She ran over and tried to push Baby 5's shoulders back down.

"I have...work t-...to do," she insisted, breathing heavily between her words. Squinting against the searing light, she could see the maid looking at her with pitying eyes.

"The Master ordered us to keep you in bed, so that you may rest until you're better." That made Baby 5 freeze. Her darling wanted her to stay? Trembling, she sank back beneath the comforter without another word. If this was where he wanted her, then this was where she would remain. The maid tried to hide her sigh of relief but was obviously glad Baby 5 gave in without much fuss. She left with a promise to check back in later with her meal, but Baby 5 paid her little mind, focusing more on trying to get comfortable despite the tenseness in her body demanding she get up and do something helpful. The door clicked shut, and she was alone.

Alone and doing nothing.

Her fingers clutched the edge of the bedsheets.

This was what her darling wanted.

To rest.

Not cook. Or clean.

No, he didn't want her doing those. Baby 5 choked, eyes stinging and teeth biting into her bottom lip. Had she done them poorly? Had her attempts to prove herself to her fiancé left him only disappointed in her? The shadows crept out from the corners of her mind, twisting and curling invisible frozen vines around her, paralyzing her.

As each second ticked by, the vines grew tighter until she felt as though she could barely breathe. The oppressive air of failing Sai suffocated her, forced tears from her eyes and shattered sobs from her throat. By the time someone knocked on her bedroom door and pushed it open, Baby 5 was pulling at her hair and clawing at her face.

"Miss, are you awake? I brought you some lunch," said the maid from before. When the young woman saw the fit Baby 5 was having, she hurried closer, setting the food tray on the table beside the bed. "Are you alright? Please, Miss, you need to stop."

The moment the maid's hands carefully grabbed her wrists, Baby 5 stopped, frozen still by the presence of another. Her head slowly turned, red rimmed eyes passing over the maid to the food she'd brought.

It looked delicious.

"I don't want it," she rasped.

The maid started, blinking unsure. "But..."

"I said take it away!" Baby 5 snapped. "Useless people don't get to eat!" Fresh tears sprung from her eyes and fell down her cheeks. Her chest clenched painfully, and she whispered, "U-useless people d-d-don't get t-to stay." Head dropping into her hands, she didn't hear the maid run out through her pained cries, leaving her alone.

All alone.

Abandoned.

No.

_ No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not again, I'm not useless, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not useless, I’m not. Useless. Useless, useless, useless. I am useless. Useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, uselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuselessuseless— _

The door was kicked in, slamming against the wall with a loud  _ bang _ .

Ripped from the abyss of her mind, Baby 5 jolted up from her hunched position, and her dark eyes widened in surprise to see Don Sai standing in the doorway. His face was set in a hard frown that sent a shudder down her spine when it focused in on her.

He knew. He  _ knew. _

He knew she was useless, lying in bed when there was work to be done.

"Darling," she gasped, "I'm sorry. I-" Her words were cut off by a coughing fit. Sai approached and grabbed the cup of water from the tray, but with a mournful look, she made no move to take it.

Narrowing his eyes, he pushed it closer and ordered her to drink it. The desire to please her darling overshadowed her other thoughts, and she gratefully complied. Sai inspected the untouched food and turned his eyes back to her with a huff.

"I was told you refused to eat then went into a fit." He crossed his arms, but she couldn't see his thoughts behind his casual tone.

Without her control, her eyes darted to the offered lunch, and a hand crept over her grumbling stomach. "I haven't earned it."

Sai arched his brow and gave her a confused look. "What?"

She looked up at him through her lashes and quietly explained, "I've been lazing about in bed. I don't deserve to eat today."

"You don't have to earn your food, you crazy woman," he snapped, but when he saw her quivering, he sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his neck, forcing himself to calm down. Sai sat on the edge of her bed and placed a hand on the covers above her knee, feeling more than a little out of his element. Speaking more gently, he said, "You have to eat to recover your health."

Baby 5 cradled the now empty cup between her hands, focusing on it while her fingers lightly tapped against it. "I'm sorry," she whispered. 

"For what," he barked a laugh, "falling ill? That's not your fault."

"I wanted to prove I could be helpful to you, b-because I..." Baby 5 sniffled and wiped a tear away only for more to take its place when she lifted her head. "I don't want to leave."

Sai made a sound of surprise and glowered. "Who the hell said you had to leave?"

"Useless people aren’t needed. Useless people don't get to stay."

"Where'd you get a foolish idea like that? Your old crew?" he demanded, remembering the cruel way the old man, Yao G, had treated her, but she shook her head. She was quiet for a while, and he started to doubt she'd answer. Then she set aside the cup, letting it tip onto its side on the bed, and reached over to take his large hand in both of hers.

“When I was little, we lived in a barren place." Baby 5 played with his hand, tracing the shape of his fingers, and her brow furrowed in thought. "I remember the way everyone would shout at my mother. They were angry at her for giving birth to me. ‘Children are useless,’ they said. ‘They eat and eat but do nothing!’" Her grip on his hand tightened, and he unconsciously returned the pressure. "And because I was useless, she took me to a mountain and left me there.”

_ You’re useless. _

_ Useless people like you aren’t needed by anyone. _

As she spoke, Baby 5 could feel the shadows slithering around her, choking her, punishing her for laying her burdens onto someone else.  _ How pathetic. Helpless. Pitiful. Selfish selfish selfishselfishselfish— _

Before she fully began to spiral, she was yanked from her seat by an arm around her shoulders and pulled into the warm, bare torso of her fiancé. He didn't do any more than holding her against him, but a fierce blush had overtaken his face.

"You're not useless," was all he could think to say. "You never were, and you don't have to kill yourself trying to prove it."

"I was worried that you didn't want to get married anymore," she admitted.

"I swore to take you as my wife, and I intend to keep it," he scoffed. Baby 5 hummed but didn't give any other reaction, so Sai coughed into his fist and awkwardly added, face burning, "And I'm sure you'll make a wonderful one."

A smile finally tugging up her lips, Baby 5 couldn't stop her excited squeal, unable to regret it even as it burned against her sore throat. She nuzzled Sai's side and promised, "I will, darling! I'll keep our home in perfect shape and take care of everything and—"

"No more cleaning."

"Then I-what? But..." Her words cut off when he leveled her a serious look, and she supposed that if it was what her darling truly wanted, then she could learn to survive. "I'll still cook for you." Her tone offered no argument, and he scratched his cheek, admittedly glad as he'd come to look forward to the meals she made him.

"Fine," he conceded as she smirked in victory, "but only as long as you make enough for both of us. You'll take your meals with me from now on." Baby 5 pulled back to lift her head, but her darling was pointedly avoiding her gaze. Warmth flooded her chest, and she hugged him tight.

"Of course, darling. Anything you want."

He patted her shoulder and cleared his throat, subtly shifting her away with a reminder that she still needed to eat, but what finally convinced her was when he said, "As my future wife, I need you to take care of yourself."

Baby 5 flushed in pleasure hearing him confidently refer to her as his wife-to-be as she did as she was told, him watching to make sure she didn't miss a single bite. After she finished, he set the tray back on the table and had her lay back down.

With a firm command for her to rest, Sai got up to leave only to pause when he heard her start to say, "Will y—" before quickly cutting herself off. It was the closest she'd come to asking for something for herself, and though he knew he'd get an earful from his grandfather, Sai knew what he needed to do. Her downcast eyes shot open when he rejoined her on the bed, sitting beside her back against the headboard. Raising an arm as a silent invitation, Baby 5 happily shifted closer, resting her head on his thigh and curling an arm over his legs.

As sleep overtook her, she sighed, "I love you, my darling."

Ignoring the burning in his cheeks, Sai choked out an embarrassed, "Be quiet and rest. Crazy woman." She giggled, happily closing her eyes and snuggling even closer, and didn't see the rare gentle smile he wore as one of his hands came to rest in her hair.

**Author's Note:**

> These two deserve so much love.  
> It's my first time writing them, so I hope I did alright with their characterizations.


End file.
